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What about cupids arrow?
So as we swayed along with the music, JF wrapped his arms around me and leaned down to kiss me. Just a sweet kiss on my lips. The song ended, faster songs came on again and we left the dance floor but from then on we stayed close to each others side, holding hands or grinding against each other while dancing off to the side.
Finally the reception had ended, the crowd was incredibly drunk; one person about 4 feet from me vomited all over the floor, and we moved onto the after party. The after party was a bit impromptu and located at a hotel bar next to the reception.
Upon entering the after party I began talking with a very nice man whose name I swore to him that I would remember in the morning, but I of course did not. JF bought me a drink (that I’m certain I didn’t need but which I am also certain I wanted) and we went slightly away from the group to sit on a love seat. It is at this point that we of course began making out, in front of everyone, at a bar, nearly blackout drunk. One of my proudest moments I assure you. After a completely unknown amount of time we got up and rejoined the party. A friend commented that I “move fast”, luckily I was wasted and so I didn’t feel embarrassed by her observation.
Eventually we were kicked out of the bar by hotel security. This didn’t damper anyone’s mood however because the after after party was yet to come! JH, MT, JF and I however decided that it was time to trek back home so after another half hour of goodbyes and sloppy hugs in the parking lot, we piled into the car to go home.
It was clear that JF and I were feeling frisky as we tried our drunken best to touch every inch of each other without being too conspicuous. Apparently this was actually a valiant effort since neither JH nor MT ever mentioned it, and they are the type of friends that would have. After a bit more touching than would be appropriate to mention and a few more kisses, I fell asleep on JF’s lap for the remainder of the ride home.
While still at the wedding JH and MT had asked if I needed a friend buffer when they dropped me off but I let them know that it wouldn’t be necessary. MT and JH dropped JF and I off, he helped me up the stairs and right out of any unnecessary clothing.
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I can hear wedding bells…no not mine silly…
The car ride to the wedding went alright, I felt majorly awkward but continued to combat that feeling by talking as much as possible to JH, who somehow did a wonderful job of including JF in our discussions when I could not.
We arrive and are seated in what feels like the smallest bench in existence. I’d like to point out here that my three companions are all over 6 feet tall and they take up a bit of space among them…and like I said before, I take up my fair share as well. So needless to say we were squished, this of course wasn’t a problem for JH and MT however it was a bit more uncomfortable for JF and I.
The ceremony went by wonderfully. I was told later by MT that as we were leaving the church, JF tried to hold my hand. I hadn’t even noticed, MT reminded me that I needed to be on the lookout for these things! The four of us were heading to the reception but decided that since there would not be food that we should stop and eat before arriving.
MT wanted Greek food but since we couldn’t seem to find the restaurant we ended up eating pizza at a place with the biggest slices of pizza I have ever seen. Seriously I think my slice was as big as my head and neck. I came to a point in the evening when I thought to myself, “Uhhhmmm, this guy is really into cars and airplanes; I don’t know if that is going to work.”
Despite my apprehension we arrived at the reception, drank a lot of booze, talked a lot and finally I was given stamps of approval from JH and MT. MT told me that he thought JF brought an overnight bag, and tonight was the night. (JF said later that he brought the bag in case of impromptu swimming, hey we were at the beach after all.)
I had been dancing with friends and then a slow song came on, JF took my hand and led me to the dance floor. I was so tired that I welcomed the opportunity to lean into JF and sway along with the music. At that point I decided that if something a bit less platonic was going to happen, hey who was I to stop cupids arrow…plus who doesn’t fall a little bit in love at a wedding?
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The big day approaches
So now we’ve met JF, I’ve convinced myself that this will not be awkward despite all of my friend’s questions as to where he came from and life is grand!
So over the next few days JF and I don’t really talk much and come Saturday I am not sure if he is still willing to accompany me. I text him that morning and he assures me that he is ready to go! I give him my address and inform him of the plans. Of course this same day my family has decided to all get tickets to a show. Since I had forgotten that both of these events were the same day, I have agreed to attend both and not really wanting to miss out on either, I squeeze myself into the tight schedule, paste a smile on my face and hit the ground running.
The show with my family was lovely despite the panic attack and bout of baby hickups. They try to gather us for a family picture however I inform them that since I am already supposed to be leaving for the wedding I will not be able to take the picture. I give quick kisses all around and speed home. Somehow I arrive with a few minutes to spare, I quickly change and grab all of my things and throw them into my bag to finish preparing in the car. Oh yes, this wedding is over an hour away, JF (who could still be a crazy murderer) will be in the car with us for a length of time (I pray that he doesn’t try to kill us and steal the car).
JF had gotten to my dwelling before I arrived however I waited until I was dressed to inform him of my presence and ask him to come up. He knocks on my door, I invite him to come sit down and I proceed to flutter around like crazy in order to hide my discomfort through rapid movement and the illusion of tasks to be completed. At one point I pseudo-hide in the kitchen praying for time to speed up.
Finally JH and MT call to announce their arrival, we proceed downstairs and get into the car. I’m already exhausted and the day’s activities have only just begun.
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Why eating before drinking is a good idea…
Let me begin by saying first that I don’t eat that much. Don’t get me wrong, I love food and I am by no means anorexicly skinny (or anything that could be mistaken for such….hello plus sized jeans!) however I began taking medication a few months back that causes me to just not want food. This is very sad for me because I have an intimate and loving relationship with food. All that being said, the day I met JF I had only eaten half an avocado…maybe you can see where this is going.
JF sits down with me and the coworkers come back from the bar, it was going to be a small group, only the four of us with a few special guest appearances. We all begin to chat and I notice immediately that JF is someone who knows his way around a conversation, big plus! All of you know what it’s like to go drinking with people you only sort of know so I’ll spare you the details, but as the night goes on JF and I somehow sit closer and closer together. By this point, special guest number 1 has come and gone and special guest number 2 is now sitting with us. Also by this point I am on drink number 2, now normally I can hold my liquor but give me sweet tea vodka, half an avocado, and the tiniest bit of Oh-shit-I’m-having-drinks-with-someone-I-don’t-know-from-the-scary-stalker-kill-you-dead-internet and needless to say I was a bit tipsy. This was made apparent to the group when I spilled the second half of my second drink all over myself and special guest number 2. I smoothly (or at least as smoothly as a drunken person wedged between two others can be) get up to get napkins and try to hide my embarrassment at being drunk in front of two of my older coworkers. However, they don’t notice…or at least pretend not to and never mention it again (phew!).
Somehow the time comes for my coworkers to bid us farewell. I feel a bit of my oh-shit nervousness again but hey, I’m drunk and this is “strictly platonic” so what could go wrong? JF and I somehow end up sitting there chatting, with me nestled in the crook of his arm as the bar begins to put chairs on the table. He walks me to my car and I can tell he wants to kiss me (and I’m no longer drunk, after my 10 glasses of water) so instead I just talk a lot and try to say bye without fleeing too quickly. Plus, momma always said that they ain’t gonna buy the cow if you’re givin’ the milk away for free. I figured I had to give him a reason to want to come to the wedding, right?
Somehow, after giving JF an awkward thumbs up and admitting, then denying my awkwardness, he hugs me, I get safely into my car and drive one minute home.
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Craigslist and its infinite powers
Of course when you need a new couch for cheap you think, craigslist! and viola; couch, 15 bucks, questionable stains and you’re set! However when I needed a date to my boss’s wedding, craigslist was not the first thing that popped into my head.
Here’s the story:
Boss is getting married, yey! I ask gay friend, MA, to be my date and he agrees to go with me and our mutual friends JH, MT. A few days before the blessed event, I call to nail down the final details, MA says he has a paper to write and can not come to the wedding with me. I coolly tell him it’s no problem, hang up and begin freaking out. “I cant go to this huge freaking wedding alone!” I begin texting every man, woman and child in my phone asking if they would be willing to go to a wedding with me in 4 days. I remind them of tons of free alcohol…no one bites. Later that week, still without a date I am telling my woes to far away friend RT. RT suggests I place an ad on craigslist’s strictly platonic section. At first I was a little bit nervous but she assured me that it could be our secret, maybe it works and I meet someone cool or it doesn’t and no one finds out.The next day a ton (okay, probably about 15…) emails come to my inbox. I give a standard reply and many never respond. Some are just curious, others seem genuinely interested; one person wished me good luck. A day goes by and I finally get that elusive third email…and he has questions for me too! I am of course at work at the time and unable to answer a page long email on my phone without attracting attention so I ignore it for the time being. At lunch that day a coworker suggests happy hour drinks, everyone seemed a bit lackluster about the idea and in an attempt to bolster support I decide to attend. I quickly email craigslist boy back and invite him to drinks. I figured, at least if I had others around I likely wouldn’t get chopped into tiny pieces.
The day drags on and eventually, after much delay, we have arrived and are drinking, in comes JF (craigslist boy). I’ll admit that I was a bit intimidated at first, he being well over 6 feet and my barely reaching past 5. My coworkers happen to be at the bar during this time so they don’t witness the greeting.
JF and I sit down.
